living it up...

Alright, new invention:

I was hanging some sick handcrafted walnut elevator doors the other day when had a sort of inventive epiphany. Introducing...

wait for it...

The Libravator.

Yep, that's right, folks, the libravator. It is an elevator lined with bookshelves. Think of it... How much time do you spend going up and down elevators? What if you could spend that time constructively reading?

It could be argued that the average elevator ride is somewhere between thirty seconds and a minute. But, think of the aggregate of all those thirty second rides. Over twenty or thirty years you could probably finish War and Peace. All we need now are some really effective bookmarks.

So I am starting the American Libravator Company. Anyone looking for a sure-fire investment opportunity?

close your eyes...

New business idea, a lucrative non-profit. Here is the concept:

There is the Make-A-Wish foundation, where they find out what poor, ill, or underprivileged kids most desire, their biggest dreams, and they make them come true. Well, we are going to institute a similar charity, but one more in line with democratic and egalitarian ideals. At the Take-A-Wish foundation, we will choose wealthy children, children of privilege and take away each one’s most treasured or cherished possession. This will necessarily make all the less-privileged kids feel better about themselves, and better about their lot in life. Make-A-Wish only benefits the few children who are selected. Take-A-Wish will benefit all the rest of the children. There is no quicker way to national happiness than through active social leveling.

Someone will have to serve as the founder and director of this selfless endeavor, with at least a six-figure compensation package. I may humbly offer my services in that capacity. Anybody want to be on the board?

Donations!

and the survey says...

The autumn has me contemplating:
shall I grow out the beard again?