meditations on the bow...
Well, it has been a couple of days since the Italians slaughtered the French in the OK Corral shootout of the World Cup. I was somewhat pleased that one of these two teams would get a chance to win. Since both countries are so long accustomed to losing military engagements, it is nice to know that one of them gets to feel what it is like to win something for a change. I guess Patton said something to the effect that the thing about battling the Italians is it is difficult to fight a battle when both armies are moving in the same direction. But seeing the French lose sort of set me to wistfully contemplating some of my favorite French defeats throughout history.
There was this little battle at a place called Crecy. Edward the Black Prince, son of Edward III of England was sort of vacationing in France, an army in tow, looking into the local real estate market. Well, in an early instance of localism, the French expressed a lack of appreciation for Edward's presence, specifically by sending a greeting committee in the form of their army. And to make a long story short, the English demonstrated the military value of the longbow, as their archers whooped up on the French, cutting down the flower of the French nobility.
A few years later, another English royal named Henry V was enjoying the hospitality of the Continent. He had besieged and taken a town called Harfleurs when, once again, the French showed themselves bad hosts by sending their army to ask him to leave. They met him at a little place called Agincourt. Well, there were a lot of Frenchmen and they had their signature heavy cavalry with them. All the English had going for them was a muddy day and their little old longbows. At the end of the day, "Oh, what a royal fellowship of death", old Harry and his band of brothers had taught the French a lesson in manners and in the English language, specifically the phrase 'arse whoopin'. And once again, the English longbow proved its value as a switch for taking the French to the woodshed.
So I was over at the Joey Love plantation the other day, as Joe and I were going to go shooting the shotgun and the .40 for a bit. And I don't mind saying that skeet was an endangered species after that outing. We were knocking those things out of the sky like nobody's business. But before we went out to the shooting range, we wandered down to Nick's place, where he had a little range of his own set up. Now Nick is the proud owner of a sexy little toy called a Matthew's single cam compound bow. I can't claim great knowledge of such things, but I seem to recall something about 70 lb draw and something like 750 ft/second. And silent. This was truly a sexy machine. Joe was putting them straight and deep, with pinpoint accuracy into the target at something like 30 yards. And it does the same thing at 70 yards, but we couldn't find the space to test that out in Nick's yard at the time. Not having ever shot a compound bow before, I heartily took up Joe's offer to try out Nick's bow. Mmmm... Other than a bit of a bow hicky from not holding my arm properly, it was a pretty amazing experience.
I tried to get Joe to stand by the target with an apple on his head, but I guess he just isn't a really trusting person.
Anyway, here is my point... Every American should go out today, get a bow, and get started practicing shooting it. Why? Because it is sexy. But more importantly, because you never know when you are going to be head-speared by an angry French soccer player. And when that happens, why not be prepared to give them their obligatory English lesson.
There was this little battle at a place called Crecy. Edward the Black Prince, son of Edward III of England was sort of vacationing in France, an army in tow, looking into the local real estate market. Well, in an early instance of localism, the French expressed a lack of appreciation for Edward's presence, specifically by sending a greeting committee in the form of their army. And to make a long story short, the English demonstrated the military value of the longbow, as their archers whooped up on the French, cutting down the flower of the French nobility.
A few years later, another English royal named Henry V was enjoying the hospitality of the Continent. He had besieged and taken a town called Harfleurs when, once again, the French showed themselves bad hosts by sending their army to ask him to leave. They met him at a little place called Agincourt. Well, there were a lot of Frenchmen and they had their signature heavy cavalry with them. All the English had going for them was a muddy day and their little old longbows. At the end of the day, "Oh, what a royal fellowship of death", old Harry and his band of brothers had taught the French a lesson in manners and in the English language, specifically the phrase 'arse whoopin'. And once again, the English longbow proved its value as a switch for taking the French to the woodshed.
So I was over at the Joey Love plantation the other day, as Joe and I were going to go shooting the shotgun and the .40 for a bit. And I don't mind saying that skeet was an endangered species after that outing. We were knocking those things out of the sky like nobody's business. But before we went out to the shooting range, we wandered down to Nick's place, where he had a little range of his own set up. Now Nick is the proud owner of a sexy little toy called a Matthew's single cam compound bow. I can't claim great knowledge of such things, but I seem to recall something about 70 lb draw and something like 750 ft/second. And silent. This was truly a sexy machine. Joe was putting them straight and deep, with pinpoint accuracy into the target at something like 30 yards. And it does the same thing at 70 yards, but we couldn't find the space to test that out in Nick's yard at the time. Not having ever shot a compound bow before, I heartily took up Joe's offer to try out Nick's bow. Mmmm... Other than a bit of a bow hicky from not holding my arm properly, it was a pretty amazing experience.
I tried to get Joe to stand by the target with an apple on his head, but I guess he just isn't a really trusting person.
Anyway, here is my point... Every American should go out today, get a bow, and get started practicing shooting it. Why? Because it is sexy. But more importantly, because you never know when you are going to be head-speared by an angry French soccer player. And when that happens, why not be prepared to give them their obligatory English lesson.
posted by yonderincarp at 22:49
2 Comments:
No doubt there was a couple jabs at the Italians in that one...but you redeemed yourself with your stories of French defeat.
So I would go out and buy a compound bow, but I'm thinking of getting a boom stick before a bow. Every man needs a gun before a bow and arrow.
A bow maybe more sexy but a gun is more powerful. Now, maybe we should consider creating a bow that is actually a gun. Then it would be sexy and powerful!
crossbow
trigger. arrow. even more fitting is that you can choose to read that site in french. who let them in on the secret?
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