hail to the chef...
I have an idea for my new career path.
In 2012 I will be 35 years old and officially qualified to occupy
the office of the President of the United States of America.
Here is the plan:
Born in New York: 31 electoral votes.
Grew up in Michigan, Democratic swing state: 17 electoral votes.
Family in Pennsylvania, Democratic swing state: 21 electoral votes.
Family farm in Iowa, Democratic swing state: 7 electoral votes.
California love, Governator style: 55 electoral votes.
Love of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. The South: 138 votes.
For responsible environmentalism: The rest of the Blue states.
Conservative Christian: The rest of the Red states.
Basically, it’s a lock.
The way I figure it I put in four years, no second term, and then I retire. A sweet pension, free office space, the lecture circuit and my presidential library. All for just four years of work.
Presidential pardon, anyone?
Oh... and let me know if you can recommend a good carpenter, because I'll need some good platforms and a sexy cabinet.
In 2012 I will be 35 years old and officially qualified to occupy
the office of the President of the United States of America.
Here is the plan:
Born in New York: 31 electoral votes.
Grew up in Michigan, Democratic swing state: 17 electoral votes.
Family in Pennsylvania, Democratic swing state: 21 electoral votes.
Family farm in Iowa, Democratic swing state: 7 electoral votes.
California love, Governator style: 55 electoral votes.
Love of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. The South: 138 votes.
For responsible environmentalism: The rest of the Blue states.
Conservative Christian: The rest of the Red states.
Basically, it’s a lock.
The way I figure it I put in four years, no second term, and then I retire. A sweet pension, free office space, the lecture circuit and my presidential library. All for just four years of work.
Presidential pardon, anyone?
Oh... and let me know if you can recommend a good carpenter, because I'll need some good platforms and a sexy cabinet.
posted by yonderincarp at 20:20
4 Comments:
:) i'll vote for you!
its a looks contest anyway so just make sure your opponent is ugly
Presidential pardon, anyone?
Yeah, I'll need one. You know those tags on the mattresses that say "Do Not Remove?" Well...
Definitely will need a Presidential pardon.
Alright. On a serious note.
Love of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms? Well, those are 3 of my favorite things. You got my vote.
An environmentalist? Hey, now I'll even send you money for your campaign.
wow. stumbled across this post and it is hilarious. good stuff man.
Post a Comment
<< Home